JaneDoh!
Goddess Intellect
Nik
Anthony R.
Daydreamer
Ms. Dee
PrimaryThoughts
{JeLisa}Pre-Nups: A Gold Digger’s Insurance Policy
For all of you who haven’t heard, Lamar Odom of the L.A. Lakers and Khloe Kardashian have apparently come to terms and are ready to file for a marriage license. What was the hold up you may ask? Coming to an agreement on the conditions of their pre-nup. According to NY Daily News, the terms are as follows. If they divorce, Khloe is to receive:- $500,000 for every year they were married
- $25,000 a month in general support
- their house
- a new luxury vehicle at the end of every lease cycle
- $5,000 a month for shopping
- $1,000 for beauty care
- courtside Lakers tickets for everyone in her family
Aside from the obvious question: Is Lamar smoking crack? I have to also question the validity of awarding so much money to a person just because the marriage doesn’t work. Aren’t we all supposed to go into this with an “all or nothing” “forever and a day” mindset? Why are we planning for the end when we are at the beginning?
But all that lovey-dovey -ish aside, I am of the belief that without kids in the picture, you need to walk out of a marriage with what you walked in with. If you were broke to begin with, you’ll be broke when we’re done. Now I may catch a lot of flack for that statement. Many women will try to validate such a big post-marriage payout by pointing out what a woman had to sacrifice for the marriage- she gave up a good job, her career, quit school. Well booooo to her for being dumb enough to give up her hopes and dreams to chase a man. Boooo to her lack of independence. That was a choice SHE made. She wasn’t a victim, she was a volunteer (stolen from uH’s site). Some will say that the woman has earned it after years of raising kids and cleaning the house. To that I say, well, if she wasn’t working, then she was just covering her room and board. Some will go on to argue that the man should keep her in the lifestyle to which she’s become accustomed. To that I say, she should have been so lucky as to live the life she did for that period of time. Some people never get to experience the types of lifestyles that attract the need for pre-nups. But nothing in life is guaranteed. You had your kicks. Move on.
To me, pre-nups seem silly- right along with alimony. The only system I support is child support with expenses shared 50/50 between the parents. But then again, maybe I’m wrong. Help me understand.
Admin’s Note: Note I am only against pre-nups when they grant either party money or liquid assets in the event of a divorce. Pre-nups that contend that you walk away with what you came with are perfectly okay to me. Also, note that any community property accumulated during the course of the relationship should be split- provided that the payment/work put into obtaining that party was split between the two individuals.
Are you for or against pre-nups and why? Do they help or hinder marriages? Would you sign one? What would be reasonable terms for pre-nups?
Tags: alimony, khloe kardashian, lamar odom, marriage, pre nup
I'm all for pre-nups. u take what u brought, i take what i brought, and what we did together, we can split. Even if get with a wealthy woman and I'm the broke one, she can feel free to keep her fortune. It's hers, not mine.
I agree with you 100%.
Hmmm, in the case of Khloe it may be a bit much, I mean she already came from money. But what about someone like me let's say, that came from modest means and went into a lifestyle where I could afford pretty much anything. To throw me back into a modest lifestyle after say..20 years would be a bit harsh. Could I adjust sure, but why should I have to and you get to keep on living the good life. Throw kids into that mix and I slightly feel that the lifestyle should be maintained even more because why should the kids go from having a huge house, pools, etc, to having to share a bedroom in an apt, just because we divorced and you feel I should live like I was before you.
On the other hand I agree with you. To get paid because your marriage failed is a bit insane. Like you said, nothing is guaranteed and to go into a marriage thinking about what you're going to get paid in the end defeats the purpose of the vows right from the start. I guess I'm just a bit torn on the issue and won't truly know how I'm feeling until it's my turn to say forever. I do know Lamar got played like a chump in that deal…$1000 a month for beauty care??? F- outta here with that!!
I agree it would be harsh. And if I were in that position, I would want some sort of compensation/revenge (especially if my husband caused the divorce by his own infidelity) but despite what I would want, I didn't earn it so I don't deserve it.
Adding kids changes things for me. I don't think the kids should have to suffer because of their parents' failures. But I don't think the custodial parent should benefit either. I say take the child's expenses- split them 50/50. If you can't keep up your end then that's where it becomes muddled. It would definitely be a case by case thing for me where there would have to be some sort of deal worked out about living arrangements, etc. But even with that being said, it won't be the same as living with that person. It's not fair to the kids but sometimes we (even children) are going to get dealt a raw hand in life.
Lamar Kardashian, (she should've made him take her name) is a damn fool! Did anyone witness him handing over his nut sack to Khloe after their fake ass wedding? Like you said the broad already has money, so why she need his money? If he's fool enough to agree to it, then I guess I can't blame her!
My husband would have to sign a prenup if or when I ever get married. My homes, my cars, my money, those are all mine and you didn't help me secure them, so no you can't have any of that. My house in Jamaica, I'd rather burn it down than let someone take it from me! Whatever we got together, then that's fair game, I'm not unreasonable, I will gladly go 50/50 on that stuff. Just like I wouldn't want his stuff he owned before we married. It's his not mine!
I agree with you Ms. Nikks. But Ms. Dee brought up a good point. How does that get divided if their are children involved and the custodial parent is the one at the disadvantage? I'm still sorting through that one. What are your thoughts?
If there are kiddies involved then we split what we acquired together and hopefully he'll be a good human being and care enough to do more for his children, more than required by the law. If not, I'm not about to fight him for anything. He'll get his in the end. I'm not gonna chase down any man to teach them a lesson in being a man. He can answer to the children when they are older and to God if he doesn't stand up to his responsibilities.
If he did me like Angela B (Waiting to Exhale), that's a whole other story! I will be going after him like blonde barbies at a NFL/NBA after party! Please belee dat!
laaawdie lawwwd…she's a smart b*tch I'm gonna start studying her real closely. She must have some skillz to be able to demand maintenance of the good life after the marriage. One thing that is not stressed in our community is that marriage is part business. I think many of us feel that as long as we have love we're good..not always the case. I dont think there is anything wrong with demanding security, and yes even after the marriage. The way I see it is if you're a man and you really want me as your life long partner you will not hesitate to sit down and secure my future via pre-nup..even if that future involves a dissolved union. And I used to think that yea this is a rich ppl thing..but I would encourage all women to secure their future the way they (woman/man) see best…remember he (Lamar) agreed to the shit too.
I think I may want a pre-nup..It obviously will not be as extravagant as Chloes but its something i want to learn more about.
I think it was more about his stupidity rather than her skill. *sigh at another hoodwinked black man.
I definitely think we should go into marriage with a long term view. However, I believe that a man's responsibility to provide for you ends when the marriage does. Marriage is not supposed to be like work- alimony is not your unemployment check. I wouldn't ask for it but hell if they put one in the mail for me….. let's just say my momma ain't raise no fool.
First of all this marriage is such a sham! It annoys me to no end that celebs are removing the sanctity of marriage for nothing more than glitz, glamour and money! #FAIL! What happened to Taraji and Lamar anyway?!
Sorry, back to your question…. Pre-nups are dumb; except for the agreed upon 'take what you came with' notion we all seem to share. And that's ONLY if one is quantifiably(sp?) broke and the other is rich. By coming to lengthy terms on a pre-nup, you are PRE-liminarily saying, I'm gonna divorce you and make bank anyway. Thank you for a great ride. I mean without a pre-nup would you really marry him Khole?
Pre-nups are a set up for failure. I mean why try and make a marriage work when you know you'll still get all the monetary gain and 'things' by being divorced. Hell, some prenup deals sound better than the marriage themselves. SMH.
Prince Jamal, where art thou???? Sigh.